OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she told me i tasted like america
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
