Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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