"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
