i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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