shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
