Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want to make out with him forever
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
