remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
