3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
