i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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