it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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