Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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