I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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