so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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