I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
