I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
