oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
there's paper in my vomit.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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