Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
