Everything about him screamed your future.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
