Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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