Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
