We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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