Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
