i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
