That's intense
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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