Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All the doctor said was why
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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