It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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