My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
