Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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