Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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