I wish you could order shots online.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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