some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
