I accidentally burped into my bong.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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