Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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