and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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