some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
