I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
