areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
