i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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