Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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