Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
