i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize