Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
