hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
