i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
