You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize