it was like eating out sand paper
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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