your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
