i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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