He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We are all done wearing pants today
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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