You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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