ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
