There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
