Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
