I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
