yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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