It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
