Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
