is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize