I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
