Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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