PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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