Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
