were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You know, be my cock's hype man.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
