I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
