then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
