he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
