Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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