She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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