All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
